I've got a question and I was looking for opinions on it.

Eight months ago I was looking for a CSA program in my area and finally found one. I went down for an interview and was told they would get back to me when we could start therapy sessions. For a number of reasons they didn't get me in. But now it looks like things are moving forward. I have five more sessions of a mandatory introduction group program to complete and then I will be starting individual therapy. The therapy is limited to one year so this got me to thinking about some stuff. Issues that I need to deal with and what I hope to achieve in the end.

About a year ago I started reading a bunch of books on CSA and recovery. (after a meltdown) I read most everything in the books but I didn't spend a lot of time on incest issues because my abuser was an older friend.(edit- older being maybe 4 years, I don't know my age at the time, maybe 12) (and with friends like that who needs enemies) I was glad the the abuser was not a member of my family because of all the additional problems that brings.

But then yesterday at work I was thinking about the possible issues. And this suddenly came up in my mind. While my abuser was not a family member there was one time (I believe only one time) that makes me wonder if I have additional incest issues.

I only have two memory fragments of the abuse. (I remember the three locations that I was abused) One memory is being led up to the abuser's bedroom. As I walked into the room I saw my brother naked in the bed. (for the abuser what could be better than having twins in your bed) I remember thinking something like "Oh God no! If it were only me it would have been ok". (and you can imagine the emotion)

I have no memory after that. And because of the lack of the lack of memory I never considered any further than that my brother was also being abused. I never considered anything that could have happened after that point or any additional effect it would have on us. So am I right to be more concerned about the the one incident to complicate the CSA to now inclued incest issues? (my brother and I have never spoken about the CSA)

Edited by Candu (01/25/13 03:40 AM)
Edit Reason: age addition