Hey, Lee - you are processing this really well IMHO. you phrased these as questions - but i think you already know the answers:

Originally Posted By: Farmer Boy
The whole process really made me question my definition of CSA.

Can I call it rape when he 'only' manipulated me into giving him oral sex at 5 or is it 'just' sexual abuse?
Did my father sexually abuse us even though he didn't touch us?
Could my brothers have had a sexual relationship on an equal level even though they where 6 years apart?
How far does this pattern of CSA go?
Am I just making a big deal about nothing?

YES - it is rape - and "only" does not even belong in this sentence!!!

it IS possible for abuse to occur through words, exposure to a hostile and inappropriately sexualized atmosphere and being subjected to voyeurism - what it sounds like you had.

any time the difference between the two parties is significant - in age, power, experience, and the younger or weaker is being coerced into sexual acts, it is most likely an abusive situation. i believe most definitions for minors cite more or less than 3 years as the standard.

God only knows with the others... BUT with you - it stops!

you are NOT making a big deal out of nothing. IT IS A BIG DEAL - and IT WAS NOT NOTHING!!! just look at the toll it has taken on your life to see that.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3