I am pretty sure I have bipolar disorder 2. There is no balance in my life. Always a high, and always a low. Nothing in between. The last five years I have struggled with highs and lows. Anxiety, stress at the drop of a hat and severely compromised sleep. I can't do it anymore. I am tired of always making all these adjustments to strike a balance. Avoid coffee, drink three cups a day. Avoid alcohol, get blackout drunk on the weekend.

I just want fucking balance. That's all I want. I want to be able to keep it together. My mom said I am good at hiding it, but I don't want to have hide anything. I am so tired of putting on this face like I have it all together, because I don't. The tide of emotion sways inside me like a pendulum.

I need rest.... peace....

I am the warrior.