My mind continues to clear on this. I'm having new T sessions which will help. I am reading a book which talks about the deterioration of the programming with time in other people. I notice that the stuff I was subjected to is similar to what others had. He only had 2 weeks to try to program me. I think I was supposed to be programmed as a sex slave. I still don't understand the role of LSD.

As I gain insight as to what happened, my anxiety and depression have decreased. I was programed to "not talk". Indeed I got to the point where I couldn't talk above a whisper when I was a boy. Nobody knew why. Then when the memories of this stuff came up (or the amnesia broke) when I was in my forties, I saw what happened only from the standpoint of my reactions as a boy. It was like Pinocchio or Jonah seeing his situation only from inside the whale. But now the reading I've been doing is allowing me to get perspective. Now I see the whole whale so to speak as from outside. Now I'm getting the big picture. It was a Moby Dick!

The book I'm reading now is: Healing the Unimaginable. Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control, by Alison Miller.

I started reading the book in the middle. I often do that. The chapter is entitled: Military, Political, and Commercial Uses of Mind Control. First thing I want to do is issue a disclaimer. The abuser in that chapter is called "Puffy". I want to affirm that I definitely am not Puffy. I am now being called Puff of Puffer by a lot of the guys, but not Puffy.

Puffer not Puffy

Edited by pufferfish (01/21/13 02:59 AM)