I had a look at the thread you referred to. From what I can tell you very clearly tried to have several conversations about how you needed this to play out and how you can support her. It also sounds like you both have had a lot of high pressure life things going on for the past year or two (children, moving). Those alone require a lot of readjustment and can be very hard.

A couple of things stood out. You mentioned that she HATES (caps yours) this site and is creeped out by the people here, and also that she's has long had a "nasty mouth" like her friends. It also sounds like in many ways she's making your journey about her...her time line, her expectations around full disclosure immediately, her perspective on your needs. These are fundamental communication issues. She needs to accept that this journey is about your healing and has to go down at your pace and plan. Her role in it is as your wife and the mother of your children. Is she capable of this perspective? If she is as depressed as you suggest, maybe the better choice is to treat that instead of continuing with breast feeding. Perhaps a conversation with your pediatrician?

I don't know how you can get her to respect the value you gain from this site, or curb her "nasty mouth" or let your needs supersede hers without the help of a third party and without her full commitment to doing so.

I truly hope she respects your wishes and your right to privacy and doesn't tell her friends. There are therapists out there who specialize in the effects of CSA on marriages, and who can help her find perspective that will benefit all of you.