by an older female sibling or cousin or mother, I hate the FACT I was sexually abused by males, it makes me question my sexuality, I had sex with males, that thought itself is not only disturbing but I just get frustrated just by thinking about it, if I think about it as much and as deep as I want to I will end up punching the wall or putting holes on the wall and being pissed off the whole week then I will calm down and then next time I think about it I will get pissed off again, I'm just saying that if I had a choice my abuser will NOT be a male, now the way I think about the abuse is different than it was years ago, I have incest fantasies, just fantasies and put myself in that situation but of being molested or abused by a female, an older sister