My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. We are both in our twenties.
I know that he has been dealing with depression and various emotional issues, but he has trouble talking about it with me. When he does, it is rarely in detail and we never discuss anything he is feeling WHILE he is feeling it. I have often gotten the impression that he may be hiding something, but it is hard to tell since he is so uncomfortable talking about his depression.
Recently, he decided that he wanted to be abstinent for a while, but won't tell me his exact reasoning other than that it is for emotional, not physical, reasons. This was surprising, because we've had a consistent, wonderful sex life for about 8 months.
At first I tried to be supportive, but being confused about why we stopped having sex I pressed him about it and he admitted that it had something to do with "something that happened to him" when he was a small child.
This was NOT exactly what I expected, so I immediately became very emotional and tried to ask what he meant. We sat down and he told me that it was something that he isn't ready to talk about, and he's only every talked about it with one other person, and he'll tell me about it eventually. He said that at this time, he just cannot bring himself to explain.
The basic outline of it- he no longer wants to be sexually intimate because he wants to deal with emotional issues that stem from something that happened to him when he was a child that he cannot handle talking about- lead me to believe that there was some kind of sexual abuse.
How do I deal with this? I want to ask him about it but I'm afraid that I'll just make him feel worse. But is it really healthy for him to keep silent about it? I hardy have any experience with people who have been abused in any way so this is really difficult for me.