I have tremendous respect for the wives here who are standing by their men through very difficult times, often without having known of it when they "signed on". It's a tough row to hoe I'm sure.

Did any of you start out unsupportive, embarrassed, even mean / mocking, and just wanting the guy to shut up and get over it - and then transition into a helpful supportive legitimate partner? If so how - were there books, websites, couple exercises, shared therapy, anything in particular that helped? My wife has been backsliding a LOT recently and giving me shit I don't deserve - I cry too much already without her contributions to the war effort on the wrong side. I need to not be minimized and get-over-itized, i need to not be made hyper-self-conscious over the side effects of my meds, and I need her to "get" that emotionally this took place 3 months ago not 26 years ago and my progress since then has been real and valid. Talking it out doesn't help, not for long anyway, nor does expecting her to care enough to stop herself when she reduces me to tears. I've never cheated or acted out, don't drink or use drugs, and am the primary caregiver for our kids. I need her to get with the program, so - if any of this sounds familiar PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what I / she / we can do to get her into a more constructive and sympathetic mindset.

Thank you


Edited by SoccerStar (01/17/13 08:27 PM)
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny