there are lots of familiar themes in your story: partial and repressed memories, parental abuse, sensory triggers...
many of us have had similar experiences and can offer support and encouragement. my history included step-dad's unwanted attention from 5 - 13 as well as verbal until i moved out at 18. though i don't know details of your treatment, my recent life demonstrates that there is hope for a better life.
good to have you with us,
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"