Welcome- there are a ton of resources here to help you-
I would say that repressed memories were part of my experience For 35 years following my abuse- and that I struggled with addictions, sexual acting out, depression, and other things in the years before I started to walk thru the flashbacks and memories and began to make sense of my story.
For me, I had to trust that these memories were coming up for a reason - and they they were much more than ideas in my head- they were tied to some deep traumatic experiences I was unable to deal with at the time (I was nine).
I read a lot of books and articles.
I got into counseling.
I sought out support and shared my situation with trusted people.
I walked thru the process.
It was scary, disorienting, and I had to re evaluate the story of my life.
It has brought me closer to friends, my family, and other men-because I have needed them more than I ever thought.
The best guidance I ever got was to deal with this AS it affected my life today- I needed help to live a better life.
it wasnt helpful to wallow too deeply or contunually dig around for additional memories - thise memories showed up as i safely built a life that had been badly affected by the abuse I needed to process a lot of sadness and grief that had been buried AND learn new ways to take care of myself that weren't tied to old coping skills adapted to deal with the abuse.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner