Whaaaat? They didn't get Madonna to do it? Almost started boppin' on top of the desk here.

Timing's perfect Jude. And I'll just lay it all out. Not particularly anxious to be spilling my guts, but I need to. (I guess the closest thing to Pizza Leg would be that I feel like a walking petri dish).

Found out about the study in early Dec. Draw wasn't until end of the year and I should have the results this coming week. Seven weeks. Shit.

I've been okay with it, but it's started to drive me nuts the past week. In talking with the T I've concluded the shingles and 15 lb. drop in the past year - biggest overall physical decline in 20 years - again drove home I'm not in VG shape. I dunno, perhaps psychogenic, but the fatigue has been really bad the past month. Seems like I'm up a few hours, then crashed a few hours. Eating - this is a new one for me - is because I have to, not because I want to. I know to keep that up along with existing meds.

Nor do I know what to expect from the numbers, but my frame of mind/physical feeling right now is such that I expect them to be pretty bad. On the other hand, simply, I don't know.

Getting in the study, from anecdotal evidence of a similar previous study, could radically change my life the next few years. Hell, guys, light candles, send up balloons, whatever.

This is one of those vent posts I have to do from time to time. Head's not in a good place - why I appreciated the Hadassah musical so much. I actually consciously considered I may simply need to get with a friend of mine to have a good cry and get it outta my system.

(Lest you think my sense of humor's gone out with the trash, I have to ask where the hot "Gray's Anatomy" interns are in the video)