Ouray, you are not alone. I was raped at 25 by my best friend for 2 hours. And, as you said, in a sadistic manner.

You are so correct about there being nothing online. Doesn't help the isolation feeling at all.

Please know my therapist said it happens more often than people think; men are just less prone to report it or even say it happened.

I would welcome hearing from you, and I sincerely hope you get some support here.