I was wondering who have mixed feelings toward the abuser. My T and psychiatrist say part of me despises the abuser and a part finds a feeling of being special to the abuser. Both say it is common because the child looks for love and the grooming makes them believe they are special. I gather the latter is the child who was taken in by the abuser. I fight this battle in myself daily and it holds me back from integrating the parts. They also believe when I loose time it is the child part I do not accept that is seeking the abuser and what he did--a way to get love that I seem not to allow to that part of me. I am repulsed by the abuser and cannot accept any part of me would feel special or love toward the abuser and the acts he did.

Does anyone else have this issue-Thanks

Edited by KMCINVA (01/12/13 08:02 PM)