Recently I emailed a doctor who had helped me through a difficult time in my life. In sharing my progress to date with him, I have found an even greater joy in the memories of affirming recovery and the supportive people who have helped me along the way.
I consider you our family doctor and a personal friend. You supported me in my darkest hour and I am grateful. Our friendship has matured into a comfortable fit, a rare privilege for me. I would like to share with you some of the results of your courage.
My past: I am a survivor of child physical and sexual abuse. I was sexually abused from six years old till I was ten. My parents physically abused my siblings and I until we were old enough to fight back(it was the way they were raised, I hold nothing against them). This taught me that punishment was the answer to the confusion and uncertainty of a child. Thankfully, with the loving support of my wife and children, and the courageous generosity you have shown me, I am no longer controlled by those lessons.
Recovery: In the last three years, I have found loving, supportive, positive people who have helped me change my perceptions. Included in these are an online support group for child sexual abuse survivors, weekend retreats that focus on recovery of sexual abuse and creating self awareness and a powerful sharing of brave men who have helped me understand I am not alone. I have fought a battle to regain who I was as a young child of six years old and map a life of what it may have been like to grow and thrive without these horrors. I can confidently say that with this incredible help and personal exertion I am the man I wanted to be before the abuse.
Family: What does this mean for my family? Access. I can hold the feelings of my wife and children, respect their ideas and encourage them. They have such intelligent thoughts, such insight that is effective in their process. It is such a wonderful thing to simply sit and absorb their thoughts, their excitement and their sorrow, to be able to sit with them in mutual respect is empowering to them and to me.
Present: I currently co-moderate a non profit organization's web presence that supports male sexual abuse survivors through forums, topics, chats, articles and professionals on the recovery of MSA(male sexual abuse). Our site also has real world connections with committees that create awareness for and legislation to protect young ones as well as create access for survivors across the US and Canada, conferences in New York City, New York and weekend retreats that create awareness, advocacy and recovery support for survivors and supporters. I have been involved in creating and facilitating healing support groups and have witnessed the rebirth of male survivors of sexual abuse. Currently I am working on a segment for the website that interviews survivors, advocates, supporters of survivors and professionals in a live environment who share their journey or experiences in helping survivors, or in being a survivor and coming to thrive in this world.
K*n, I struggled in school. I did not know you that well, but your kindness and friendship in our adult lives has been a blessing from God himself. I have come to count you among the affirming people in my life that truly want to see me and my family succeed, thank you.
My best to your in your endeavors, in this life there are no diminishing returns! Effort can seem to be exhausted on poor productions, yet positive results can still be harvested. The return is in our ability to create and maintain the joy of the effort.
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014