I have a friend who is deeply in love and obsessed with me. We have known each other for a little over two years. When we first met, we did end up having sex, but afterwards we decided not to see or talk to each other after being told to do so by our respective church leaders. Eventually I decided to move out of state to minimize the chances of us seeing each other and possibly having sex again.
This past October the pressure got the best of me, and I called my friend. He told me that he had looked me up on Face Book and wanted to contact me, but was afraid to do so. After several conversations, we decided to be boyfriends, and when I went back home--due to a death in my family--we had sex again two more times that weekend.
My friend and I have talked since I have returned home. I told him that I am very confused and don't know what I want. Though he understands why I don't want to pursue a relationship with him, he says that he is deeply in love with me. He even told me and his church leader that he wants to save up enough money to come visit me so that we could have sex again. He says he constantly thinks of me and obsesses over my FB picture and other pictures of me as well. I told him that as much as I would want to see him and have sex, I am not sure if I would because I don't want to go against our religious beliefs. I do love and care about my friend a lot, but my feelings for him are not nearly as strong as his feelings are for me. And he knows how I feel about him. As much as it will hurt the two of us, he would respect my decision to maintain my beliefs and not pursue a relationship with him.
One time my friend told me that he didn't love or care about me. I told him that as selfish as it is for him to use me for his gratification, I didn't-and still don't--care because I wanted to have sex with him too. And I still do want to have sex, but I am not sure if I will do it again if the opportunity presents itself.
I know this sounds selfish on my part, but I am torn over this.