Originally Posted By: Observador
Well, I wanted to tell my husband, to assure him that he is worthy, and that's why I want to fight for him. And that the pain he causes me, is not really him, is his trauma and pain speaking. I don't expect him to open up to me. I just want to let him know that I will be there, if he decides to, with no judgments or hard expectations.
But I am unsure if that will help or make things worse.

Observador... I'm a survivor. This is one of the most helpful things you could say to a survivor. To make yourself available to listen on his terms and on his time... that is gold. My grandmother did that for me when I was 16. It took me more than a year to take her up on it, but for many months, just knowing she would listen if I chose to talk to her was enough. And when I finally did talk to her, and she responded without a hint of judgement... Damn. I'm tearing up a little just remember how good it felt to not be dismissed, rejected or judged...
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

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