Since the end of last year when I reconnected with my younger self, I've been delving into those old emotions that I never allowed myself to feel. Loneliness, pain, fear, helplessness, hopelessness...

It's been incredibly painful at times, but at the same times it's been very healing. I'm purging. I'm learning that those feeling were there - they were real and deserved to be acknowledged. I am cleaning house - dragging those feelings out into the light and examining them. It turns out they belong to a different time and place. I don't have to feel anxiety any more - I am no longer in danger. Most importantly - I am no longer alone and helpless. I have a support structure - people who love me, a T, MS...

It's a bit like detox, really. I have to go through this hell to get rid of the poison that is preventing me from healing and living life to its fullest potential.
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

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