been almost empty of desires and completely unproductive.
Been closed in a circle of MBing, watching p0rn, playing videogames, hardly leaving the house...
I'm craving sex all the time, my gf has been distant the last few days, (about this relationship i realy need help, but i'll leave it for later, to focus a little better on it), i've been sleeping really awful, eating badly, having MAJOR issues with body image, and quite frankly clamped up inside.
is this a cycle of trggering?
am i just experiencing some form of depression?
i don't think i'd call it triggering. but it is definitely not healthy. as i understand it, triggering is a strong reaction to some sensory stimulus - whether a sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, words, music, event - that takes you back to re-experience trauma as a flashback, to have a panic attack, or to react severely that emotions are either extreme and out-of-control or shut down to a zombie-like state.
what you are dealing with, however, sounds pretty typical of what many of us have gone through when we first started dealing with abuse memories. and i had almost exactly the same list of behaviors for a while. it is a terrible, miserable place to be. but it will not last forever. keep working at dealing with it - with help if at all possible - and the symptoms will decrease eventually. try to find more positive and productive ways of coping with the darkness. i don't have a magic wand to make it go away - but i hope knowing that it is pretty common will help.