I have been wanting to post for awhile, but not sure what to saw...

I haven't been sleeping for almost a week...I don't feel like myself lately, in a trance.

Days have passed and I barely remember, not sure what I've been doing. I am so absorbed in it all, and last night I watched the movie Mysterious Skin until almost 5am, then tried to sleep for a bit, woke up and watched again. It feels like that some days.

I try to get one goodnight sleep, go to bed at 11 and hope that a normal morning wake up will put me back on track, but I suddenly become wide awake at night.

Much of what happened, I don't remember, fragments of memories, but other that what happened at 12, I don't remember anything actually...just know that something wasn't right. I am not certain even who. There are years of my childhood that are a complete blackout, nothing, as if I skipped time. It's all been very confusing lately, and I'm just trying to process it all and move on. It is has really affected my life over the past several years, and I'm still trying to get back on my feet from it. *sigh*