admorris -

welcome. so good that you are ready to post. keep at it. it really helps.

incest is a whole additional can of worms on top of abuse. it make stuff so difficult. glad that you are working with a therapist.

i don't have an answer for you to your question. but i want you to know you are not alone. for me it was a step-father who did most of the abuse - but mom was complicit. i too have very mixed feelings toward her.

keep working, and best wishes for lots of healing this year!
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"