I passed by the house we lived in a few times. It was a duplex and the older boy next door used to abuse me in the old shed in the backyard. It was boarded up and we were not supposed to be in there. In fact, we got in trouble for it. We had to help clean up the owner's yard as part of our punishement. When I visited the shed was gone, and a feeling of emptiness came over me. I wanted it to be there, to validate what I denied for so long. But it wasn't there. This was before the memories became so vivid. But even today, I don't see the abuse as the one being abused. I see it as if I am standing out of sight witnessing it happening to some other boy. I don't know how to integrate the separateness.
I am the warrior.