I leave to go on my pilgrimage in a few hours.

I am freaking out obviously. Guess it is to be expected.

More new flash backs etc.

I do feel deep inside it will be ok.

I need my friends around me now noe than ever and it means so much to me to know you guys are here. I couldn't do this alone. Actually I wouldn't have done this if I hadn't found the strength I got from being here and sharing in all your/our experiences. You have all helped me to get to this point. Every post....Every PM.

I hope I get the answers I need from my meeting.
I am scared to get them!
I don't know where they will take me.
I may just get a brother out of it rather than another perp.
That will be HARD to let go of (if I do let go)
Sometimes I still HATE him for what I became (a man whore)
But hey I guess I will see what happens.

More than meets the eye!