Hang in there, brother. You are most certainly *NOT* alone.

I'll be honest:

I want to die, too. Then, all the pain would be gone, all the struggle over.

But I refuse to do it to myself. Because then the bastards win.

And so I continue to struggle. Every day the pain. Coming here to MS has saved me countless times.

A puppy sounds like a great idea, if I can ensure that my life is stable enough, I might take that plunge.

Thanks, Soccer. Hang in there, Magellan.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found no spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.