Hi all, thank you for this.
I just keep getting more and more blessed by your honesty and courage.

Jude your post was brilliant. So true, and yet I am still laughing. I do a lot of self intertaining with such thoughts. Laughing at the pain in life may be a coping mechanism. I prefer it over crying.

I just remembered a time long ago when I could not cry or laugh. I had to shut off all emotion. After a year or so went by I realized that I could not cry. I would try to, but all that came out was a yawn and my emotions were gone. Odd. But eventually I could let out a bit. I had to learn to laught and cry all over again. It took quite a wile. Strang thing was that my crys would quickly turn to laughs and laughs to crys. Strange, yes, but I realized that crying and laughing were somehow conected. The ability to release emotion is a true gift.
Just because it's complicated doesn't mean we can't figure it out.