Hi Sentry, I am so glad you found this site. There are many stories here and mine shares some things in common with you. I grew up in a world of verbal, physical and sexual abuse that started for me mostly around age 5 or 6, but I had been beaten already before that time. I understand your pain in existing to survive, as I believed the same thing. I also fully believed growing up that the only thing I would ever be "good" at was providing sex mostly for adults.
I am with a T now, and that along with the support I've found hear has helped me to start the process of being free from all the hurt and from the lies I learned to believe. This is an awesome place with great people and resources. So welcome brother! Know this, you were never defined by the evil that came into your life as a child. You have value as a man, and I know you can find help here to sort all of the junk that comes from abuse. You are with friends, and we care.
�We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.� - Plato