Whome: you bring up a great point. We started out in marriage counseling before my H got into a therapist for his CSA. It was too soon, we were too raw, and he was too messed up for it to be even remotely helpful. That, and our counselor was AWFUL.

I switched therapist, my H has dug in with his, and after a year, we are going to start up marriage counseling again. This time, I feel hopeful. This time, we did the work to find the right fit. We don't start until after the new year, but I am strangely looking forward to the experience. It's nice to feel hope this time of year.