Im sitting here with tears in my eyes, on the one hand, tears of sorrow for what has happened to you, and on the other hand, tears of joy that you have finally come to face the demons.
I pray that you get your loved ones back, but remember that it is a battle, one that if you so desire, you will win. It is all a matter of talking honestly with the wonderful people here and with a Good T.
In talking to the good souls here at ms you will find a lot of compassion a lot of brutal honesty and a lot of experience.
Try also to find a survivor group in your area, one for men, and don't be afraid to attend, after all they are men that have been through the same as you have. Group with therapy, (with a good T that is experienced in the treatment of CSA) is the best treatment for this darkness.
Remember one thing above all, you said that you wanted to be a better man for your wife. Well you are, You are a good man and never forget that, you have just been hurt and used along lifes path, and when you deal with that hurt you will discover the most amazing person hidden in there, one that you have been hiding and protecting for such a long time.
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