So I noticed that when my H and I aren't connecting and communicating well, and I get upset, I do research about PTSD and CSA so that I can try to understand. I know in my heart that my husband doesn't mean to hurt me, but some days it's hard to see that. In my research one day on the issues Secondary Survivors have as a part of walking this journey with their loved one, I came across a forum post on another site that really helped me understand a little better how he thinks and why. It is written from a female survivor's perspective, but it really helped me understand a bit more of WHY he feels what he feels. It also helped me see better ways I can respond and react so that he feels safe. So here it is. Maybe it will help someone else here.
A Letter to Secondary Survivor