thank you so much for the support and encouragement. I'm so glad that my girlfriend found this and let me know about it. Today I go see my counselor and I'm so nervous but looking forward to start telling my story of abuse and no longer have to lie. The childhood in me for so long has been suppressed, no more. I have to tell the story and let the inner childhood in me go. So much of my childhood that I don't remember, how I wish I could remember the things that my siblings tell me we did with our parents. My abuser was my brother. I'm really looking forward to my appointment, I know it's going to be a rough day for me, but I actually feel warmness within me and I start smiling, I've long to be happy and be a better man.
Thank you so much. I will definately start posting and relying on my fellow survivors!