I almost told them right there. But not like that. I couldn't tell them as a sick scared boy, I had to tell tell them as a strong man. And I'd have to remember that first. I didn't want to hurt them. My same old reason as a kid. I didn't want to hurt them. Didn't want to cause trouble. Didn't want them to be mad or unhappy or cry. I wanted them to be proud of their son and not have bad thoughts. I just wanted everything to be the same forever, the way it used to be.
Oh Matt, that was so terrible just to read, I can imagine how much troubled you felt there, I'm sorry man.
You know your post and this quote brought me memories of my shame and guilt that I've had many years ago when I was small child on his walk home after other boy has touched me inappropriately.
I've felt terrible, dirty, I felt as not valuable family member, as not good child and as not good son. I was very hard on myself and at the end I decided not to spike about it. I though: you were not good, you asked for and you'll bear consequences.
Couple years later when my mum caught me in try to masturbate and tried to punish and humiliate me talking about in front of other people at lunch and full table. I was thinking in that moment: Good that you didn't talk, that was smart move, you could never count on their support, you can't trust them
It is terrible to have such feeling as boy and to feel so isolated.
Hang on man, you have so brave plan to talk with your parents, little Matt deserve to be heard and to get some support. I envy you, I still can't talk to my father about things that happen to me and I'm still covered with shame.
You are very brave, hang on