I need to make a safe place for my little boy to do what he needs to. It's no surprise that the kid I've vehemently hated for so long doesn't confide in me. Why did I hate him? Because he hid from the other boys. He wasn't like the other boys. He didn't belong. How could I belong if I was afraid? It was all a vicious cycle.
I am really fighting my knee jerk revulsion when I think of him. I have gotten so much better. This might not be PC but I think the hate did break the cycle. By hating that scared little boy i became removed from him. But I don't need it anymore. I don't want it anymore. I think it is time to respect his fear, not berate him for it.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
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