Sounds fucked up but I really don't know what to do with him. I can't blame him for being a prostitute because I would still be blaming myself. So I what did I gain besides meeting that shitty little kid that I've been hiding for 40+ years?
it's not about blame.
it's not about excuses.
it's about acceptance.
based on the truth.
that's all he wants.
and what you need too.
and what you gain is another step toward wholeness.
still hurting - but not so lonely.
(i am trying to do the same with my younger self.
sometimes it is hard.)
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"