Welcome Jay ..
Hope you find some comfort here and please recover and move forward if you are able.
Male sexuality can be extremly confusing at times especially when it can be so distinct and programmed into us from birth. Many of us have questions when we get a bit older and reflect on the past.
You will find friends here, to help you along the way.
My Story : http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...4645#Post434645