Thank you for your heartfelt, insightful, eloquent posting. the maturity that you express at 19 is absolutely extraordinary. You are indeed a survivor. You have managed to get to this point in life with an amazing sense of grace and perspective. YOu don't say what you are doing now but I'd really like to know. I trust that you are in college and I hope that you are finally finding solace from emerging friendships. As a psychologist who teaches in a university, I would very much like to know about what you are studying and what you are pondering for future career purposes. You sound as if you would be an outstanding therapist or work in some other capacity to help people who have been or are going through torturous times. You convey your experience with simplicity and introspection. I hope that you will write back. I would like to learn more about you and how you have managed to get where you are today.