Great question because many similar feelings but some different effects
1. Guilt and shame
2. Self loathing
4. Fear of self and others becoming too close
5. Fear of how others will see me as "damaged goods"
6. Dissociation and fugue--my unfortunate coping mechanisms
7. Disjointed parts of me, not being whole. Repulsed by perp and his actions while another part still seeks his love and to feel special. Confusion as to who I am
8. Buried memories and emotions, difficult to accept and not to allow them and him, the perp, to control me and my emotions.
9 All not allowing me to be me, he robbed my wholeness