On this point, I read about a dozen different books to help me with my compulsive, destructive sexual behavior. I now identify myself as an addict and got a lot of support thru SAA, a twelve step program for sex addicts.
One great idea that has worked for hundreds of years is to lay it all out there- I journaled extensively about MY entire sexual history and conduct over the years (I don't regard my abuse as necessarily my conduct).
The act of admittingn all this stuff that had been stuck Inside my head helped free me - I saw patterns, hopelessness, costs, consequence, promises to change, attempts to do things differently, etc. And there were some pretty common elements ( a solid pattern really) as well that hinted at my abuse and early ideas/ teachings about sex I got as a kid.
I had guys I could share this with and who shared their stories with me- and that was powerful as well. It was like emptying out the basement, the attic, and the garage of my soul.
And in doing so (journaling, reading, sharing) plus getting rid of the ways I acted out, I practiced sitting meditation and changes my eating and exercise habits for the better.
This opened up space and safety for me to develop/nurture/awaken an authentic sexuality that grew from someplace deep inside. I felt like a teenage boy just learning about my body and sexuality for the first time. It was innocent, affirming, wondrous and healing.
This is nothing new- different spiritual traditions and religions have practiced this kind of reflection, withdrawal, confession for centuries.
And it worked for me.
There is healing from the abusive and destructive sexuality we were forced into.
It takes work, but really try it for the next week or ten days and report back.
Edited by Mountainous Buck (11/28/12 08:32 PM)
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner