Just wanted to share a few thoughts I have been having lately about my own sexuality and emotions and how I have chosen to heal them after the abuse.
I think that next to our sense of assertiveness our sexualities are the ones that suffered the greatest trauma.
But it can be healed.
I think the hardest thing for me has been approaching my sensuality outside of a fight/flight response. But actually view sex as the meeting of two loving adults people.
When it comes to my emotions I can see now that I am a person with emotions not;
Emotions with a person. Which is what I felt like every time I felt anxiety.
I feel sad as I write this because many of us have lost relationships along the way with people we truly loved, even gone to lengths to sabotage ourselves out of love through internalizing shame cycles and believing the hideous reality that abuse made us defective.
Yet I choose to believe that the abuse just made us better and stronger men.
To all of you who are shrouded in a confusing pain.. Or staring at the abyss right now...
Please do not despair.
We need you here on earth., to make a difference.
"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."