had a bad moment this morning while getting ready for work.

my wife and i were talking about a friend who had died of cancer over the weekend. she was saying how bad she felt for the husband. how he didn't deserve that pain. then she made the jump to thinking about us and said she knows how it feels to suffer for something that is not your fault. and next she said - referring to being married to ME - a survivor who didn't know he was one until years after we were married - "I have often thought 'I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!'"

i almost lost it.
i took a deep breath.
i said - "i didn't either..."

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"