If you continue to practice and trigger and re-live the same sexuality that was your abuse, you will continue to live in that trauma and pain.
I acted out in ways that direct stemmed from the abuse- and it undermined any chance I had of joy and happiness and real love or intimacy. I finally had to disengage and get help because I was so addicted to seeking out this kind of sex.
Acting out in these ways was really an escape my pain and an attempt to rewrite the story or have control over situations that happened years before in the abuse.
It never worked. It never really resolved the problems underneath.
A big part of my recovery has been to distance myself from these behaviors and learn to engage my whole self and walk thru the pain. I have discovered a more real and affirming and loving sexuality that was undeveloped because the abuse and my family hijacked my true sense of self and my male sexuality.
There Are a lot of false solutions out there- time to embrace a truer path that heals.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner