this is not a direct answer to the question - but something that really has helped me:

God presumably loves Jesus - since Jesus is the Son of God. but God did not intervene to stop the torture, suffering or killing of Jesus. since that is something that i believe is true - it is also the way that i can still believe that God loves me - even though He did not stop or prevent the abuse. it doesn't explain why - but it makes it easier for me to accept.

another thing that comforts me is what Jesus said on the cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" - i know it might seem weird to find this comforting - but i have felt that exact same way - and if Jesus did too - i feel like he understands me and it is easier for me to feel close to him and harder for me to blame him or be as angry at him for what happened.

lee
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How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3