My opinion.

Of course we know nothing about your BF and how he feels about anything. Where his head is at. How he has reacted to stresses in the past.

Your BF needs help. But is he going to harm himself or others if he does not seek it out immediately? If the answer is no then don't push. I'm sure he is very confused right now. Other than that who knows.

But if he says he is not ready then maybe he really is not ready.

You obviously want the best for him but I don't think that you have any idea how difficult it is to deal with this for most of us.

When I finally started looking at my sittuation I started by reading books on the subject. I was surprised that two of the first three books I read cautioned against dealing with it if you didn't have a good support network. You really don't know what will happen.

I have just scratched the surface and I can tell you that if things had not been so fucked up for me I would rather have left it alone.

He only told you about it three days ago. What's the rush? Its not like this can be dealt with quickly.

I have not told my story here yet. I'm not ready. But I'll tell you a bit about my disclosure to two partners at work. We are part owners in the bussiness. One I have worked with for fifteen years. The other was hired a couple of years later. Other than one friend and my brother, and maybe my sister (in her case love but maybe not trust so much), these two people are who I trust the most. (as much as a CSA survivor can trust) And partner one connect the best with.

I decided that I had to tell the first one about my CSA. It took me almost a year. I tried and tried and tried. I would play it all out in my head and I would end up in tears. Trying to disclose tore me to pieces. After almost a year of trying I finally wrote a leter explaining things and I had two sentences stating that I was sexually abused as a child and that I was trying to deal with it.

With my second partner I told months after the first partner. It took two hours before I was able to get to the CSA. I was barely able to get the words "sexual abuse" out of my mouth. It was so hard. With him I also had a document package with information from different sources on the effects left by the abuse. This in order to give him a better understanding.

A couple of months later I wanted to give that same set of documents to the first partner. I had them in a folder and all I had to do is walk to his office and give it to him. I got half way there and ducked into my lab when I panicked. I cried there for twenty-five minutes. But I refused to retreat. I calmed down (somewhat) and then continued. I made it to his doorway but I couldn't go in. I took the right door and ducked into our lunchroom. There I stood trying not to cry, often failing, for about fifteen minutes. My partner unaware on the other side of the wall. Partner two came into the lunchroom and saw I was upset, he said something, if he could help. I shook my head and he left me alone. I finally was able to give it to partner one and a couple of words. Like "something I want you to read when you get the chance".

I have not told about my abuse. Only that it happened. And then provided information about the effects. And this took 15 months.

While we are all different, and have different experiences, but the CSA has effected us to the core. This is not like a broken arm where we just go in and have it dealt with. I wish it were that simple.

Give him time. Learn what you can. Try to not let the CSA dominate your relationship.