Hi Eric,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

Please do not demean yourself, or your experiences, by referring to telling of your experiences as a "sob story." Like Sterling said, you have a lot about which to sob. And if you have not yet allowed yourself to cry over the abuses you endured, the tears will eventually flow.

NO ONE should ever endure these experiences.

Kudos to you for taking one of your abusers to court. I know the sentence wasn't nearly long enough, but look at the strength and courage it took for you to stand up and say "you are going to be held accountable. Others will now know what you did to me. I will no longer keep your secrets."

You also let him know that you would no longer be intimidated by him nor allow his threats to keep you silent.

During the times you feel down, try to remember your inner strength. It may be difficult to get in touch with it on some days, but it is there.

You do not say whether or not you are in therapy. If you feel therapy is an option, there are resources available. For help in finding a therapist please read the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping. Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.