Dear Kevin,

i was sad to hear of your setback - but not too surprised.

you have been through a major ordeal. losing a mother - or any close family member is difficult enough - without all the other issues you had to deal with. you got through the things you had to do heroically.

and then the backlash came - or the after-shock - or the let-down. i have never experienced fugues like you described - but i know that every time i have a big breakthrough, there is a big reaction right around the corner. it is not at all unusual. it's like you use up all your resistance or adrenaline or whatever on the crisis - and then have no reserves to maintain the status quo.

so - dont feel bad about it. be kind and gentle with yourself. take your time and keep your expectations on hold until you can recover. you have come so far that i am sure that this is only a temporary setback.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3