Concerning your abuse it is my opinion that sexual precociousness does not exist in pre-pubescent boys and girls. Those who are in the midst of puberty, while curious and perhaps exploring their own sexuality, should do so on their own terms and with people their own age and never with any adults. Based on the shower story you told us I would suspect one of those boys was "taught" how to do those things at some point and was simply continuing the cycle of abuse with you. Was it his fault? Yes and no. A small minority of victims adopt the abusive mindset as a survival technique and I honestly don't think they stop without going through recovery.

A lot of us have trouble determining whether what happened in our past was abuse or not, however, I think it comes down to its impact on your life. The fact that someone thinks something might have been abuse usually makes me think it happened. I can recall a couple occasions with a boy and a girl when I was very young where we played "doctor." This involved no sexual acts whatsoever and left me with no sense of shame or guilt, rather I was confused as to whether or not her penis had fallen off and if so what that meant for me (little kid logic at its best) : P

I share your concern about your nephew. Frankly, I say go with your gut on this one. Furthermore, if you feel you are ready and only if you feel this way you should do exactly what you believe necessary to protect your nephew and his fellow scouts. He doesn't have to be sleeping in the same tent to get to them he just has to be there or "have a reason" for being around. The fact that he is a teacher who had an "incident" with one of his female students only serves to solidify my position.

My advice is to alert (anonymously if it helps) ALL of the scout leadership to that incident with the girl - there should be records if he was cited. Let them decide whether or not what happened at the school merits dismissal from the program. Generally speaking, teachers don't get reprimanded for "inappropriate behavior" unless it is something serious. After all, some of us know just how eager authorities can be to casually dismiss allegations as overreaction/fantasy/etc.

Use your best judgment!

Edited by Publius (11/20/12 07:08 AM)
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh