Having read your story my heart goes out to you, I fully understand what you have gone thru. You are not alone. Be kind to yourself, take your time with your journey of healing, its not a race, reaching the final destination in more important than how long its takes. I was 39 when I told my wife and it took me another 10 years to become a triver. I was touched to hear that your wife read my story, by her being on this site is evidence that you have her by your side, I would never have come this far without my wife and children. We may continue this via private messages if you wish.
I would love us to talk as that is why we have started "South African Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse" www.samsosa.org.
you might not live here, but we are here to help. We have a number of organizations we work with in the UK. Im in the USA attending the 13th International Male Survivor conference here. I will be back in South Africa on the 28th November. I will send you a private message.
Get Mike Lew's "Victims no Longer" book, my wife and I have both read it.