So... I went to church yesterday - something I am trying to do more often lately. Trying to be a better Christian and all that.

The pastor spoke about the fifth commandment: "Honor thy father and thy mother". He went on and on about how the bible doesn't give you certain circumstances where you have to obey, and that we cannot choose to obey only that which suits us. We have to obey these 10 commandments, regardless of anything else. We have to honor our parents, even if they were lousy parents, because they were appointed to by God and did the best they could, being sinful humans.

WTF? Forgiveness I can still get my head around. I am even willing to work at forgiving my abusers and all those who were complicit. But to honor my abusers? How the fuck am I supposed to do that?

How do I honor the man who beat me for fun, used me as an ashtray, and raped me whenever he was sober enough to get it up?

How do I honor the woman who first refused to believe me, then scolded me, screamed at me and even slapped me for talking about it, and then abandoned me with a man she knew to be abusive?

I don't call that doing their best. I call that doing their best to destroy me.

Someone, please help me understand. Because right now I am inches away from simply turning my back and walking away from religion completely...
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

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