This is really great advice. You have given me a different approach to think about. I always say I'm going to keep a journal of his behavior but I never do. But this sounds good. I am going to keep this all in mind. I'm glad FMLA has helped your H. I'm not looking for miracles with it, but just some improvement. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

He says he has ADD and that is why he can't complete things. You have no idea (or maybe you do) how many incomplete projects are around my house. He always starts them with good intentions and then they become too big for him and they're just left there. I tell him all the time that this is my house too and I need space. He says he agrees and will clean up but never does. I can't wait til we can afford a home with a basement or garage. But regarding boundaries, I am having trouble setting them. I hear very often from the folks on here that I need to set some. Whenever I try, it backfires because he thinks I'm trying to control him, and because of the CSA he has authority and control issues. Currently, I am a doormat and punching bag. He also doesn't see the patterns that I see. I tell him how every weekend he blows his friends off, leaves me to do things alone with our son, etc. But he doesn't think it is a pattern. He thinks that when this happens it is the first time. Can't wait for him to get help.