I read your posts and felt tremendous loss for the both of you. The family dynamic is vastly complex and I have been friends with more than a few people who have been abused in the ways you have described. Yet despite the transgressions they have maintained hope that one day their feelings will be validated. I have been asked a few times, will I always have hope? An almost impossible question for me to answer; my family has been supportive throughout most of my life.
Family love is primal, something we need as children. But as Lee said, you can live a solid life without your family. Embracing recovery means assessing the relationships that are toxic and letting them go. For me, that was letting go of the abusive relationship I had with myself. For others, it's the process of getting closure in whatever form that takes. Whether with confrontation or not. Truthfully, I can only surmise how difficult it is to leave your family behind, but truth be told they chose to leave you behind many years ago. You are a strong man to even entertain confrontation.
Sam, you are healing and you will continue to heal. The decision to confront and let go is a sure sign of establishing boundaries. The kinds of boundaries that were shattered by the very people who were supposed to care for you. I often use words like courageous and admirable, and often I feel they sound trite. But I do mean it from the very depth of heart. Heal on brother.
I am the warrior.