male survivor here.

i am sorry for your situations, ladies - but gotta tell you - if you expect normal behaviour from a survivor - you will probly be disappointed. we all have our weird quirks and handicaps - some more severe than others.

i don't do well in crowds either - ok in a small mixed group of up to half a dozen. more than that makes me anxious. restaurant or movie or concert is OK - but not big social event where i am expected to mingle - big parties and conferences are the worst. no - groups of all men are the worst! i'm good with my wife inviting a couple or two to our house - not so good outside my home turf.

best you can do is find ways of having your own social life - whether or not he goes along. the pressure to be "normal" and act like everyone else just makes it worse - emphasizes the feelings of being an unacceptable, defective freak.

it is what it is - until he decides to change. i know from experience. change is possible - but hard and slow.

lee
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"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"