male survivor here.
i am sorry for your situations, ladies - but gotta tell you - if you expect normal behaviour from a survivor - you will probly be disappointed. we all have our weird quirks and handicaps - some more severe than others.
i don't do well in crowds either - ok in a small mixed group of up to half a dozen. more than that makes me anxious. restaurant or movie or concert is OK - but not big social event where i am expected to mingle - big parties and conferences are the worst. no - groups of all men are the worst! i'm good with my wife inviting a couple or two to our house - not so good outside my home turf.
best you can do is find ways of having your own social life - whether or not he goes along. the pressure to be "normal" and act like everyone else just makes it worse - emphasizes the feelings of being an unacceptable, defective freak.
it is what it is - until he decides to change. i know from experience. change is possible - but hard and slow.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"