Hi Antonimm1979,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I just read your story. You are a very strong and resilient person. You commented that you feel like you don't have any family. "Family" can be those whom we choose to bring into our lives, not necessarily those to whom we are related. Often, those whom we invite into our lives treat us better than those to whom we are related.

This is not to say you are not lonely or grieving for the family closeness you do not have.

You asked what your next steps should be. Essentially the same thing you would tell any of your clients - to work on their issues and to get healthier. Once you are in a better place within yourself you will again reach out to bring others into your personal life.

There are several books you might find useful.

Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivor....html]bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.